Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
Speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
Thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when
They try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
You say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a
good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why
the wife treats the husband like toxic waste.
Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow! This stuff really
Works!"
Thursday, February 7, 2008
ten commandments of marriage
heart attacks
Let's say it's 6.15p m and you're going home (alone of
course), after an unusually hard day on the job.
You're really tired, upset and frustrated.
Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your
chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up
into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the
hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't
know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have
been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the
course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart
attack, without help,the person whose heart is beating
improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only
about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
However,these victims can help themselves by coughing
repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should
be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep
and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep
inside the chest.
A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two
seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until
the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing
movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood
circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also
helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart
attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many
other people as possible about this. It could save
their lives!!
